I have generally considered myself to be a rational human being. I am not really sure if Guy would agree, but, you know what, too late now, you already put a ring on it.

Right. So, I am usually the one in my group of friends telling everyone to calm it down, think it through, la de dee skip through the flowers, EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY.

Except, you see, waiting for my visa to come back has been a challenge that I am growing weary of. The beginning stages were fine: send off the documents, move on with life, and ignore it. Now, though, it’s a lot harder to ignore as it could come back any day now. I am probably jinxing it, but I’m expecting it by the end of the week.

So in case you’re wondering where I’ve been, here is how I typically spend my days:

1. Wake up and cross another day off of my calendar. Could this be the day?

2. Google “uk visa application timelines.” Spend a few hours reading about other people’s timelines (including counting down, to the day, when they received theirs and comparing it to my own calendar).

3. Start worrying for no legitimate reason. Google “UK visa refused” and “UK visa rejected” until I have read 62 stories of visa failures and broken families. Cry a little on the inside. And outside.

4. Realize that I need a pick-me-up. Google “UK visa success” and “UK visa accepted.” Calm myself down and tell myself everything will be okay.

5. Check e-mail for the 600th time that day to see if reception has gotten a package for you. OH, YES, AN EMAIL! Oh wait, it’s that one company I can’t figure out how to block. UGH.

6. Check the Royal Mail tracking for the additional documents I sent off last week. It has been listed as “Delivered” as of 6am Monday morning, and yet I am still checking it out of habit. What am I even expecting to see? It is delivered! They have done their job! BUT WHAT IF IT FELL OUT OF THE MAILBOX AND THEY ARE GOING TO UPDATE THE STATUS TO ‘POOPED ON BY A BIRD AND THROWN IN THE TRASH. WHAT THEN.

7. Go back to my calendar, forgetting I’ve already crossed off today. Be upset at myself for crossing off today so early on when I should have waited until the evening.

Send help (and visa) ASAP.