I have something that I’ve been hiding for a while that I feel like I just need to get off my chest because it’s eating me alive.
It keeps me up at night, while I toss and turn under my Disney fireworks blanket. I think about it over coffee (that obviously comes from my Winnie the Pooh mug), and it gets to me when I see a family at the Disney parks with matching shirts and perfect Instagram filters.
See, here’s the thing. My husband? He’s great. 10/10. I don’t regret marrying him (yet). We enjoy long walks in the park, pizza nights on the couch, and other fun things that bring me a decent level of joy.
But there’s one problem.
He’s not obsessed with Disney World.
Now I’m not saying he hates Disney World. I honestly can’t even think about a reality where he hates the Happiest Place on Earth because I think that’s written in our vows somewhere that that can’t ever be the case.
But he’s not obsessed.
I mean, he likes it enough. He’s been to all of the parks with me and boy, he loved his stay at Animal Kingdom Lodge Club Level. I’ve convinced him to go with me to Disneyland Paris for Christmas, Disney World in the heat of the summer, and the Disney store every time I pass by one (reluctantly).
It’s just that…he always looks at me strangely when I’m listening to Happily Ever After and watching Illuminations before I go to bed. He’s like, “Why are you watching that? You’re not even in the parks” and I’m like “THAT’S EXACTLY WHY I’M WATCHING IT!”
And don’t get me started on his approach towards Disney memorabilia around the house. Is it really that hard to see why I need 26 Disney coasters and no less than 6 versions of a Christmas Mickey Mouse?
Why is it even a surprise when our Welcome mat has to have some form of Disney inside joke or the phrase “Pardon Our Pixie Dust” somewhere?
Oh, and I want to cry every time I think about the time I suggested we should take a Disney cruise. Can you believe that he looked at the promo video and then immediately said, “It looks like a waste of money for what you get.”
A WASTE OF MONEY!
Do you know what’s a waste of money? The stupid bills we have to pay for our stupid house that isn’t located on Main Street. Clothes without Mickey Mouse emblazoned across them. Food that isn’t shaped like Disney characters.
And when we’re actually in the parks, I swear. It’s like we’re on a different planet.
I say perfectly reasonable things like, “Hey, let’s plan on rope dropping DAK and then fastpassing FOP before park hopping over to Magic Kingdom where we can have a dole whip and watch the world go by” and he just responds with, “I didn’t even catch the rest of what you said. What’s rope drop?”
Really? This is who I have to deal with?
But you know the worst part? Whenever I want to pay Disney extra money for things I don’t need, like Halloween Party tickets or a new pin I’ll never look at again or a VIP morning at Toy Story Land even though I’ve been there 7 times, he’s like “We’re already giving enough of our money to Disney, we don’t need to give them anymore.”EXCUSE ME.
DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT MY SOLE MISSION IN LIFE IS TO GIVE DISNEY AS MUCH OF MY MONEY AS POSSIBLE?
When a Disney Vacation Club rep asked on our last vacation if we wanted to buy in, he replied with, “I’m not sure – what if we want to go somewhere other than Disney one year?”
I mean, you think you know someone…